The Age of Terrorism

Bad-Poetry Project

"If the bad guys can do their worst, so can we."

Terrorism got you down? Are you wondering, "What can I do to relieve or deny my feelings of helplessness and futility?" Kabo Group has no idea, but in the meantime, what better way to express floundering uncertainty than through bad poetry?

Send yours to info@kabogroup.com. Please specify how/whether you wish to be identified.

The Security Czar's Tale

O cursed synne of unpreparednesse!
Thise who did tarie finden hir lyf a messe;
To thynk we wolde hir pensyones rearrange
Leve to the mercy of financial hiricaynes;
And yet th'exposoure of oure flawes so bright
Nede not bryng to this administracioun nyght,

For seith the wyse, oure memoryes moost fayle
The threat is longe. Avarice shal yet prevayle.

 

—Jennie Kaufman, Brooklyn, NY, 9/29/05

 

 

 

Will I Never?

Will I never again know the touch
Of the butterfly's wing upon my cheek
See the dancing bunnies down by the creek
Know the world's will belongs to the weak?

Will I never again love so much
Knowing smiles reside in every home
Warm welcomes no matter where I may roam
Our souls packed safe in styrofoam?

—Pierce Arthur, Brooklyn, NY, 9/1/05

 

Homeland Security, Episode IV:
A New Hope

Bureaucratically divided

Under one roof now united

Brave guardians of us all

To walk the same hallowed halls

We cried out to Tommy R

Tell us where the bad guys are

Protect us now 'neath your cape

Lined with plastic and duct tape


—David Amulet, Washington, D.C, 8/21/05

 

Had This Been a Real Emergency
 
Scary, wary, do not tarry.
Green, blue, yellow, orange, red.
Are you ready, America?
Green, blue, yellow, orange, red.
 
Avoid radioactive material.
Don't inhale the germs.
Limit exposure to a "dirty bomb."
Stop, drop, and roll.
 
Find clean air or seal the room.
Get away or stay.
Tap on a pipe, cover your mouth.
Stop, drop, and roll.

—Anonymous, Burlington, VT, 8/16/05

 

Untitled

How moist the misty morning breaks
As I travel on the subway train
How long the rumbling journey takes
While anxious gut contorts with pain

—Anonymous, New York, 8/15/05

 

Ode to New Security Procedures

We open our backpacks
Like ever-hopeful fuchsia morning glories
Unthinkingly greeting the sun

—Jennie Kaufman, Brooklyn, NY, 8/9/05

Ode to the Underground

Precious wee baby
Or terrorist in disguise?
Constant vigilance

—Carrie Parrington, New York, NY, 10/11/05

 

Untitled

As I cross through that arch of freedom
My mind reflects without much glee
On how much fungus one may receive
Walking barefoot through airport security

—Carrie Parrington, New York, NY, 09/05

 

Thanks for the Mammaries

Twin towers above
twin teats of love
suckle us once more
twin nips we adore

Call forth your milk
dont dairy us bilk
but provide holy yogurt
against powers rogue-ert

Swell to the heavens
light and leaven
curds of freedom rise't
and cheese-us, Christ

 

—P. V. A. Wood, USA, 9/3/05

 

Security Blanket

My blanket keeps me safe at night
under the covers warm and tight.
The boogeyman can't get me
because I sleep beneath
the red white and blue security.

—Iris Rose, Dogtown, IL, 8/16/05

 

What Is in My Personal Heart?

A quilt of guilt
But a tankful of thankful
A profusion of confusion.

My screen shows the scene:
A land of sand
A quagmire of gunfire.
Is democracy hypocrisy?

I dreamt of a mangled hope chest
of strangled hope.
What rhymes with hope?
Soap on a rope
Now rope is used
For much worse things.

—Anonymous, Brooklyn, NY, 8/15/05

 

Homeland Security Is (A Work in Progress)

O acronymal keepers of our safety
Be not incompetent in these thy deeds
For you will be rewarded with much pastry
If you can distinguish fruitful leads

—Anonymous, Brooklyn, NY, 8/9/05

(Not to be confused with real poetry, which is often quite good. You can read real poetry at sites such as Poetry Online, Poetry Magazine, and Octopus Magazine.)

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